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Sign on an electrician's truck:
-- Let us remove your shorts.
Maternity Clothes Shop:
-- We are open on labor day.
Non-smoking area:
-- If we see you smoking we will assume you're on fire and take appropriate action.
On a Maternity Room Door:
-- Push, Push, Push.
On a Front Door:
-- Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian -- except the dog.
Optometrist's Office:
-- If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
Scientist's Door:
-- Gone fission
Taxidermist Window:
-- We really know our stuff.
Podiatrist's Window:
-- Time wounds all heels.
Butcher's window:
-- Let me meat your needs.
Used Car Lot:
-- Second-hand cars in first crash condition.
Sign on Fence:
-- Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
Car Dealership:
-- The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.
Muffler Shop:
-- No appointment necessary; we'll hear you coming.
Hotel:
-- Help wanted. We need inn-experienced people.
Auto Body Shop:
-- May we have the next dents?
Sign in an office:
-- We shoot every 3rd salesman. The 2nd one just left.
Veterinarian's Waiting Room:
-- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
The Electric Company:
-- We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
Beauty Shop:
-- Dye now!
Garbage Truck:
-- We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Computer Store:
-- Out for a quick byte
Diner Window:
-- Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up.
Bowling Alley:
-- Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
Cafeteria:
-- Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
Music Library:
-- Bach in a minuet.
Funeral Home:
-- Drive carefully; we'll wait. |
Showing posts with label hilarious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hilarious. Show all posts
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Humorous Signs Found On Businesses
Monday, January 3, 2011
4 Very Quick Reads
Some Things You Just Can’t Make Up
Here are a few things I found on the FML website for entertainment. Some of the words have been changed to make them less offensive…
I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me, so I decided to be nasty about it and say, "Did I say you could take a picture?" and he replied with, "No, but can you get out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turn around, and they were right behind me.
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one."
I was at my church’s spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire church witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!"
We all say or do silly stuff at one time or another and wish that no one witnessed it. Hope these gave you a chuckle.
Disclaimer: Smiling and laughing may be good for your health. Making the load of life lighter is always a great thing.
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