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Showing posts with label businesses with humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label businesses with humor. Show all posts

Sunday, December 7, 2014

APPLYING FOR JOBS 2014



Back in the day, we were concerned about the amount of words we used to advertise a position.  We were paying by the word after all!  Back then, we read contracts all the way through, no matter how long it took, and dotted our  I’s and crossed our T’s.  We didn't skim or rely on someone else to tell us what the contract said, we actually READ it…every word and understood it or we didn't sign it! Reading something thoroughly, due to technology, has become a thing of the past.  I don’t even seem to read texts thoroughly.

Now, our attention span has been reduced significantly by the multi-tasking we have done for so many decades.  When it comes to job advertising now, companies are posting their job descriptions and expecting people to actually read those things.  They are long, tedious and frankly, BORING!  Companies put crazy things in those job descriptions…asking for proficiency in software that may have existed for a short period of time, but only 10 people (all professors that don’t want another job) became proficient in it.  This really means the company has not invested their profits back into the company.  Oh, and they do the disclaimer on the job description saying that it is not meant to be an exhaustive list of job duties…even though it is, whether it is meant to be or not.

The hiring process is just as crazy.  Generally, the people they call for an interview look good on paper but certainly 50% of the time, the person doesn’t walk the walk.  The company wants someone to be a super hero and do all the things they can’t get the other employees to do PLUS the lengthy list of things on their own job description.  This means the conscientious person will become burned out quickly and move on as soon as someone agrees to help them go through this exercise again.

For some companies, the qualifications have little to do with the person that gets hired for the position.  The person that is hired, is the one that the interviewer liked (sometimes a mirror image of themselves) and not really the one that is qualified for the position or read that crazy job description all the way through and put those same bullet points in their cover letter.  As if the cover letter gets read by someone in the company.

We have all been there at one time of another, or will be.  Life, love and work don’t make any sense really. Life is only fun when you have a sense of humor about everything.



Saturday, July 9, 2011

Humorous Signs Found On Businesses

 
Sign on an electrician's truck:
-- Let us remove your shorts.

Maternity Clothes Shop:
-- We are open on labor day.
Non-smoking area:
-- If we see you smoking we will assume you're on fire and take appropriate action.
On a Maternity Room Door:
-- Push, Push, Push.
On a Front Door:
-- Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian -- except the dog.
Optometrist's Office:
-- If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
Scientist's Door:
-- Gone fission
Taxidermist Window:
-- We really know our stuff.
Podiatrist's Window:
-- Time wounds all heels.
Butcher's window:
-- Let me meat your needs.
Used Car Lot:
-- Second-hand cars in first crash condition.
Sign on Fence:
-- Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
Car Dealership:
-- The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.
Muffler Shop:
-- No appointment necessary; we'll hear you coming.
Hotel:
-- Help wanted. We need inn-experienced people.
Auto Body Shop:
-- May we have the next dents?
Sign in an office:
-- We shoot every 3rd salesman. The 2nd one just left.
Veterinarian's Waiting Room:
-- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
The Electric Company:
-- We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
Beauty Shop:
-- Dye now!
Garbage Truck:
-- We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Computer Store:
-- Out for a quick byte
Diner Window:
-- Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up.
Bowling Alley:
-- Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
Cafeteria:
-- Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
Music Library:
-- Bach in a minuet.
Funeral Home:
-- Drive carefully; we'll wait.