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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Dead People Want Real Flowers

Do you ever wonder what a dead person may think of what we do at the cemetery?

I find amusement in seeing people walk around looking for their loved one.  Shouldn’t you know where they are buried?  Can you get a map at the care takers office?  Your loved one didn’t get to “take the better view” from the last time you were there.  They wanted to but got voted down.  If you could actually see your loved one in their casket year after year, would you hang out longer? Tell them how much they have deteriorated?  Or how much better they look now that their skin is gone?  Leave sooner?  Never visit?

Another odd thing humans do is give the dead plastic flowers.  What is that about?  Are the dead supposed to be grateful for THOSE ugly things?  Didn’t you love them?   Are you so cheap, you can’t get one real flower instead of going to the dollar store and getting a bunch of plastic flowers?  You should be ashamed of yourself!  That is pitiful.

When we drive by the cemetery do we think, “Hmmm…looks like that person had a real nice family…look at those colorful plastic flowers…they must be new to the cemetery as the sun hasn’t faded the flowers yet.” 

These people are dead, in the ground, buried and will not be coming back to life.  What are we thinking as living human beings? 

If you believe in the afterlife, why would you put flowers on their grave?  Don’t you believe they will be back?  Think of your loved one looking down from heaven at PLASTIC FLOWERS on their gravesite.  Tisk, tisk, tisk.  Is there no help for you?

What is the graveside service all about?  The dead person is thinking how horrible you look in black (or you finally look like a human) and how your tears don’t resemble Demi Moore in Ghost one little bit, when you cry!  But they are happy to finally get fresh flowers after all these years!  Too bad, you had to wait so long.

The first night in the cemetery has to be brutal since everyone wants to know every detail of what your life was like and what happened when you found out you were really dead…questions like, "how did that make you feel" come up...but then, it quiets down and you FINALLY get a good night of sleep! Then morning comes…the honeymoon is over; the noise is excruciating!  The lawnmower cuts the grass incessantly and if they weren’t dead already, the noise from that trimmer would put them out! 

You have to wonder how many of the dead people wanted to be cremated but someone in the family decided the burial was the wiser idea.  Why aren’t the dead allowed to have their wishes carried out?  Is anyone going to bring charges against them?  Will the dead ever find out?

Were you or are you afraid of cemetery movies?  No?  Then why don’t you visit your loved one after dark with those pathetic plastic flowers?

1 comment:

Jeanne said...

Now see you are espousing the environmentalist point of view as seen through the eyes of a recently deceased person. I still say that they are more in the "making sure I have everything with me in here that I need for my after and new-life." The flowers are just trimming.