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Saturday, June 25, 2011

Playing with Words: A Favorite Passtime

Every heard of them? Probably not by that name.

(A Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.) "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. Examples:-

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Words of Wisdom
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

Monday, June 13, 2011

Online Public Schools

Isn’t that an oxymoron?

Part of public schooling that has long since been forgotten except from people that graduated a few decades ago was carrying heavy books.  We had to pack the books from school to home and back again even if we never cracked them to do homework.  The books were checked out to us and we were responsible for them.  We knew that if we lost or damaged them in any way, our teacher would be disappointed AND we would be in a world of hurt with our parents.  Still, there are always a few kids that loved to push the limits of authority!

Now days, the kids have access to everything online so they don’t have to lug the books around.  They carry backpacks that are loaded with personal stuff but rarely is there an actual school book in the mix.

Food fights use to be uncommon when I was going to school but now it seems most people have enough money to buy the junk food offered in vending machines or are brave enough to go to the local convenient store and wait in line since only 3 high school kids are allowed in the store at one time.  Too bad, they really miss out on being able to make a real mess and having the janitor cleans it up (except for their own bodies)…

Choosing teams; no one has to work as a team after grade school since physical education is no longer in the schools and recess is gone in middle school.  Is it any wonder kids have a tough time when getting out into the working world? 

There is little interaction between students; not that all interaction we had was good but it did teach us valuable lessons in how and when to approach people to get what we want.  The bullies that were a part of life have now been outlawed.  We didn’t have that option.  We paid up or got beat up and suffered more than one consequence for it when we got home.

We had a senior ditch day where the entire class didn’t come to school; everyone does their own thing now so ditching isn’t really noticed any more.  Unless the child is gone more than an half the school year; then authorities are called in but the child still gets passed to the next grade no matter how they did academically because it isn’t good for their self-esteem to keep them back a grade. 

Lots of kids stole their parent’s cigarettes when I was in school and smoked them as they were walking home after school; now school kids have a designated place to smoke outside the school.

Teacher’s dated others teachers which was scandalous at the time.  Now, we have become callous to hearing teacher’s being arrested for having sex with their students.

Boys used to snap our bra straps in high school, which was annoying and very embarrassing but now days the girls may or may not being wearing a bra, so the boys have to find something more embarrassing to do to the girls.

Boys running in (short visits for shock value) the girl’s bathroom: now they have doors on them to prevent the visiting male or the males are busy in their own bathrooms.

Most high school kids are or should be working more hours since they don’t have all the other kids distracting them from their schoolwork and can get their academic work done in less than a few hours…so with the online schools wouldn’t it allow the over 16 crowd to work more hours to pay for all the things they need?

What do you think?  Are having online schools good or bad?  What challenges do you think it brings to society?