Apple 3G Phone for Dummies

I hate talking about relationships on the internet, but this one isn’t with another person, it is with my iPhone.  Almost two years ago, I got an iPhone.  I was so excited to have it since it was considered an “exclusive” for cell phone users.  It was a gift.   I saw how much other new users enjoyed it and I was thrilled to have one.  I’ll admit that I enjoyed all the bells and whistles that came with it.  Once the glow of having one wore off, I started to see if for what it was.  Oh, wait, this seems like a “person” relationship.

Here are a few things that have become a source of frustration over the last 20 months of my relationship with this phone.

You can have full bars and the call still gets dropped.  3G and full bars mean NOTHING!  As with any phone, the calls get dropped in the middle of huge cities where cell phone towers are abundant… but, it seems to enjoy the outskirts of towns.  When you get out in the country, well, your phone is about as worthless as a tin can…okay, not that bad, you can still text but using the phone as a phone is not an OPTION.

Although 3G was “the best” when the phones came out, my iPhone tends to forget that it is a mobile phone.  The phone works well in the house, most of the time, but get it in the car and it suddenly gets Alzheimer’s.  It can’t remember where I am or where I want to go!

GPS navigation?  You have got to be kidding!  This phone has serious issues! This navigation can’t take you anywhere…ok, maybe to the bathroom, but most people remember that one on their own.

All those apps are fun at first then you realize you can’t use them for very long since the battery wears down so quickly.  The battery needs to be recharged about 3 times a day.  Yes, it eats more power than most humans eat food!

The inconsistency of alerts is amazing!  You chose one tone for the text messages and the crazy phone will do another sometimes when a text comes in…what tha…?  In fact, it uses the same tone you have picked for your “new email” alert.  GREAT!  So, you think an email came in and can attend to it later when it was really a text saying, there is an emergency at work you need to make a PRIORITY!  The reminder of appointments is annoying since you put them in your phone thinking it will be nice and remind you of them, sometimes the phone reminder won’t go off until you slide the slider.  Can you say, ANNOYING?

The auto brightness is inconsistent also.  You can go out in the sunlight and it should automatically be brighter or go indoors and it should be darker…but that isn’t what happens.  Sometimes it works and sometimes…well, you are on your own.  Why take the time to set settings that just can’t seem to work for you 85% of the time?

One last thing.  The phone will allow you to multi-task when you are on a call…sometimes.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason for when it allows you to multi-task and when it doesn’t.  It just seems to allow less and less access to the things I thought I needed to make my life EASIER.

On the PLUS side, the phone does have an on-screen keyboard, so it saves you from flipping the keyboard out each time you need to use it…BUT, you guessed it, it is again inconsistent as to when the keyboard shows up.  Sometimes, it never does…like times when you want to make a list; it seems to forget that you need the keyboard to do that.

You need a crystal ball to work this phone!!!!!

Tell me, how do you like your cell phone?  Is it what you thought it would be when you signed up?  Has it made your life easier or more complicated?  Has it become one of those necessary evils in your life?  Has your relationship lost its new spark before the contract is up?  Is this all too familiar?

Southwest Airlines Rules and Regulations

Okay, I get it that I am a very “interesting” person.  I have been told that many times and if I had a quarter for each of them I can remember, I would not be writing to you today!  I would be sitting on a beach in Cancun sipping a fruity drink.  Since that didn’t happen, here I am today, writing about something equally interesting…Southwest Airlines’ special luggage rules.

Ah, come on, don’t be like that. 

Here are some rules I thought were unique and because I like to give fair warning, please make note of these in case you are planning a trip soon!  Southwest takes these rules seriously!

Alcohol

Alcohol content may not exceed 70% by volume (140 proof).

I didn’t even know they made alcohol with that large of a percentage!  Shows you how long it has been since I had a drink!  Sounds like it would kill anything in your body and maybe your body too!

Can you even read the bottle after you have drank alcohol that is 140 proof?  Who would care what proof it was?

Dry Cell Batteries (these are everyday batteries)
Any Alkaline, NiCad, Nickel Metal Hydride (NiMH), Silver Oxide and Carbon Zinc batteries similar to those used in flashlights or commonly used electronic devices are allowed onboard the aircraft.

These items must be securely installed in equipment or have exposed terminals protected in a manner to prevent short circuit. Electrical tape, individually bagging batteries in sealable plastic bags, or plastic covers designed to protect the terminals from short circuit would all meet this requirement.

Are you kidding me?  They have to be securely installed in equipment?  Who knew electronics would work if you didn’t do that?

Film

The screening equipment that inspects your checked luggage may damage undeveloped film in camera equipment. We recommend that you put undeveloped film and cameras containing undeveloped film in your carryon baggage. The screening equipment will not damage camera images.

There are two different types of screening equipment?  One for carry on and one for baggage going in the baggage compartment?  Does the baggage in baggage compartment get screened better?  Or maybe not at all?  How can the carry on screening process not damage film but see through my clothes?  Technology!  Ain’t it great!?

Animals

The carrier may contain two (2) cats or dogs and must be of the same species per carrier.

No mixing species, people!

The animals must be harmless, not disruptive, odorless, and require no attention during flight.

Good thing there are no rules like this for the passengers.  The plane would be mostly empty!

Musical Instruments

Reservations must be made and a ticket must be purchased at a charge no greater than the Child's Fare. Musical instruments cannot be transported in place of a free companion under any fare promotion.

Okay, you know this rule was made because someone tried this and because there wasn’t a rule yet, the airline had to let them do it, once.

Firearms

Our Customers must declare the gun to the Customer Service Agent at the ticket counter (no firearms will be accepted curbside) and ensure that the firearm(s) chambers are free of ammunition and the magazine clip has been removed (when applicable). Paintball guns and BB guns are considered the same as all other firearms.

Can you just see someone getting tired of waiting in line, shouting, “gun” so they can cut ahead?  Everyone would move out of their way and let them through!  No one would be angry at them for it; at least not the first time they did it.

Parachutes

Parachutes are allowed in checked or carryon baggage, but may not be worn in flight.

You know it will be a bad flight when you see a passenger wearing a parachute!  Without any announcements, you might as well grab your carry-on bag and get off the plane NOW!

Overnight Amenity Kits for Lost Luggage

One of the best kept secrets is the small overnight kits available for lost luggage.  The most you will get is:  shampoo, soap, a toothbrush and toothpaste, a razor and sometimes a little laundry soap to wash out those undies you will have to wear again tomorrow.  ;-)  I know, it sounds gross but you will survive.  You think going without underwear would be better?

When you receive your kit, you will quickly realize that you have been over packing all this time.  Amazing what you can and do get by with in a pinch.  We are all survivors!  (can you hear the “Rocky” theme song?)

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign

Recently, I took a short trip within 70 miles of my home. What in the world was I doing on this trip? Actually, I am always thinking and I do my best thinking when I am doing something else that may be “automatic” for my brain…driving happens to be one of those things, for me. I needed a break from writing sales copy…FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY…YOU HAVE BEEN EXCLUSIVELY SELECTED…and all of that other crazy stuff written on sales letters.

One of the things that caught my brain cell was a sign that read, “Trucks entering highway”, which appears on many different roads in our wonderful, colorful state. I found this interesting and I am going to share my thoughts with you whether you like it or not.






If a truck is entering a highway, I do believe, even with my limited vision, I would see it and don’t need a sign to tell me there is one coming (which could make me paranoid) and I could run off the other side of the road watching or looking for a truck which may or may not be coming my way. Something much smaller could justify a sign…a snake, wildlife, glass on the road, a stopped vehicle, or a pedestrian? I can see a truck! I would probably see the other stuff too, but I am trying to make a point.






Another sign I thought was an interesting one was a sign that says what county you are in. Does anyone really care what county they are in? Couldn’t we save the material that goes into that sign for license plates of something useful? Can’t we find a better use of the person’s time than putting up a county sign that only I will see? I could have done without it, truthfully!






I care about what city I am in, but only barely. I care more about an address or street name than anything…beyond that, I don’t think I need signs that tell me where I am and mile markers that tell me how many miles since I entered the state.






And speaking of mile markers, why do we need one that says, 67.5? Is that information relevant to anyone? I guess for someone whose car just broke down…possibly it could be important when you were calling for help. Generally, people just look for a person, not a mile marker, don’t they? Who can see those little things in the dark? Besides, your car knows better than to break down by a mile marker…that would make it easier for you to actually be located and for someone to help you.






Life doesn’t always make sense, does it?

Old Friends

Isn’t it great when out of the blue, you hear from a friend that you have wanted to talk with but never made the call? I feel bad, embarrassed and so happy all at once!



Bad because I didn’t take the time to call them when I was thinking of them.


Embarrassed because I didn’t take the time to call them when I was thinking of them.


So Happy because they didn’t put it off calling any longer and they were thinking of me too!
 We remember that she introduced me to funnel cake and that I drag her to every waterfall on the planet! We are great travel partners and seem to be on the same waking and sleeping schedule. We talk about all our memories of how we met and what we have been doing in the last few months…soon, we realize that we are still talking to our dearest friend although many, many years have gone by since we first met.


We talk about bad perms, our hairstyles over the years, how important fashionable clothes were when we were teen-agers and first entering the working world, how comfort over fashion wins every time with shoes now, and how crazy our lives were when our kids lived at home. But mostly, we talk about how precious our friendship is and how it remains one of the top ten beautiful things in our lives.


As always, we vow not to let so much time pass before we talk again…but we always do. Thankfully, we are in fairly good health and don’t give a thought about the other person not being there.


After we have talked for hours, we say silly things like, “don’t be a stranger” when we are not strangers at all. We are so much a part of each other’s lives in so many ways, even though we live 1600 miles away from each other. We tend to pick right up where we left off the last time we talked without missing a beat!


I, for one, believe true friendship aids tremendously to the quality of my life. Don’t let another day go by thinking of someone and not calling them…they are probably thinking of you too.

Good Advice is Not Always Good Advice

Have you ever gotten words of wisdom, integrated them into your life, and then discovered that they were counter-productive to your goals and dreams?







We all mean well in giving advice, but seldom know others well enough to give them good advice. Good advice is based on conventional wisdom. It takes into account what has worked fairly successfully for some but that doesn’t mean it will work for you. The advice may have merit, but is it right for you?






If you solicit advice, you are sure to get a ton of it! It can kill your dreams quickly if you don’t listen to, and more importantly, understand what has happened in the person’s past that molded their way of thinking.






You see, there are people that view the world as a scary place and others that view the world full of opportunities and joy. That is not to say that every day is joyful, but that those joyful people tend to lean towards the “fun” part instead of the “fearful” part of life and see it through eyes of understanding instead of eyes of control.






For me, I believe the only thing we really have in life that cannot be taken away is our knowledge. I believe I have good advice to give but truly, the advice I would give is good for me and not many others. I choose to give encouragement instead.






One thing for sure is that if you can’t hear advice with a critical ear, you shouldn’t ask for it! You have a responsibility to hear the advice and take it, hear it and take portions of it, or hear it and be critical about whether you believe the advice is good for you and your situation. You can also disregard the advice altogether.






Good advice can be deadly to your dreams. Your responsibility is to view all advice with the awareness that it is your dream and your decision.  Every dream involves risk.

The Complete Idiot’s Guide or the Dummies Book series?

Have you ever read these books? Do you feel like you must really be dumb when you don’t get what they are trying to explain? I do. I have read many of them and am fairly well educated and I still get confused on how to do the things that they are trying to explain.



Take for instance the SEO Idiot’s book I just read. It talks about activating Google analytics; you sign up then are given instructions to cut & paste a given code to paste into your website code…I don’t do code and haven’t the faintest idea where to find it for my website. The instructions say “this code must be inserted into the underlying HTML of each page you want to track”…I am happy to do that but again, don’t do code, so where is the underlying HTML code for my website?



After some searching on the internet, taking with two friends and my mother, I finally find it! Then you are to place the code they have given you in the body text section of the section of your page. The body text section of the section of your page? What the heck does that mean? There is nothing in the HTML code that says </body>…I put it in the search box…it comes up with nothing.



Maybe, they should start from the beginning and tell us where the underlying HTML code is before they have us cut and paste something into it that may or may not work. After hours of searching for an answer, I realized I was dealing with something beyond my education, understanding or comprehension. I lost my motivation to track the traffic on my website. Where is the IT person when you need them?



Silly me, what did I expect from a company named GOOGLE? Or a book with “ Idiot’s” in the title?

Pet Ownership

Statistics show us that about 60 percent of American households have at least one pet. That’s the majority. That leaves 40 percent of people who don’t have a Fido or Fofo living in their home.


Are the 40 percent, the smart ones? I believe we are. We get to sleep without hearing the whimpering of a pet that has been called by nature to empty their bladder. We sleep without worry of being awakened by a pet. We may worry about a burglar breaking in… but our pet waking us up, NEVER!
Some of us avoid pets due to allergies. I agree that wheezing and sneezing are not a good way to live and taking allergy medicine to have a pet seems well…just a little crazy.
 

People that don’t own pets get to walk bare foot in their homes without having to pick pet hair out from between their toes; they get to wear black pants without worrying about pet hair on them; they don’t trip and twist their ankles because they were trying to avoid a pet; they never have to smell that sickening aroma of pet food, wet or dry; they never have to worry about someone staring at them while they eat (unless they are in public); they still live plenty long without pets and parts of their lives are not spent yelling at an animal that doesn’t understand English; they don’t have surprises on the carpet when they have been gone longer than a pet bladder can hold it; they fill their purses with wallets and money, not doo-doo bags and pet treats; and the best reason is they don’t have to clean up large piles of poop in a public place!

Many pet owners will disagree and say that they get so much unconditional love from their pets; it makes up for all the “icky” stuff. I say, you are fooling yourselves: there is no unconditional love in the animal or human world and pets only love you because you feed them…stop feeding them and see if they hang around very long!

 

It’s okay to keep hanging on to those thoughts and PLEASE keep telling yourself that when Fofo poops on the carpet; or gets you up in the wee hours of the morning for a nature call; better yet, hang on to the unconditional love crap when you are smelling and scraping huge piles of dog poop off the grass at a nature park to carry home.

I will be the one staring, pointing and snickering at you. I still believe I am the SMART, no-pet owner!