Southwest Airlines Rules and Regulations

Okay, I get it that I am a very “interesting” person.  I have been told that many times and if I had a quarter for each of them I can remember, I would not be writing to you today!  I would be sitting on a beach in Cancun sipping a fruity drink.  Since that didn’t happen, here I am today, writing about something equally interesting…Southwest Airlines’ special luggage rules.

Ah, come on, don’t be like that. 

Here are some rules I thought were unique and because I like to give fair warning, please make note of these in case you are planning a trip soon!  Southwest takes these rules seriously!

Alcohol

Alcohol content may not exceed 70% by volume (140 proof).

I didn’t even know they made alcohol with that large of a percentage!  Shows you how long it has been since I had a drink!  Sounds like it would kill anything in your body and maybe your body too!

Can you even read the bottle after you have drank alcohol that is 140 proof?  Who would care what proof it was?

Dry Cell Batteries (these are everyday batteries)
Any Alkaline, NiCad, Nickel Metal Hydride (NiMH), Silver Oxide and Carbon Zinc batteries similar to those used in flashlights or commonly used electronic devices are allowed onboard the aircraft.

These items must be securely installed in equipment or have exposed terminals protected in a manner to prevent short circuit. Electrical tape, individually bagging batteries in sealable plastic bags, or plastic covers designed to protect the terminals from short circuit would all meet this requirement.

Are you kidding me?  They have to be securely installed in equipment?  Who knew electronics would work if you didn’t do that?

Film

The screening equipment that inspects your checked luggage may damage undeveloped film in camera equipment. We recommend that you put undeveloped film and cameras containing undeveloped film in your carryon baggage. The screening equipment will not damage camera images.

There are two different types of screening equipment?  One for carry on and one for baggage going in the baggage compartment?  Does the baggage in baggage compartment get screened better?  Or maybe not at all?  How can the carry on screening process not damage film but see through my clothes?  Technology!  Ain’t it great!?

Animals

The carrier may contain two (2) cats or dogs and must be of the same species per carrier.

No mixing species, people!

The animals must be harmless, not disruptive, odorless, and require no attention during flight.

Good thing there are no rules like this for the passengers.  The plane would be mostly empty!

Musical Instruments

Reservations must be made and a ticket must be purchased at a charge no greater than the Child's Fare. Musical instruments cannot be transported in place of a free companion under any fare promotion.

Okay, you know this rule was made because someone tried this and because there wasn’t a rule yet, the airline had to let them do it, once.

Firearms

Our Customers must declare the gun to the Customer Service Agent at the ticket counter (no firearms will be accepted curbside) and ensure that the firearm(s) chambers are free of ammunition and the magazine clip has been removed (when applicable). Paintball guns and BB guns are considered the same as all other firearms.

Can you just see someone getting tired of waiting in line, shouting, “gun” so they can cut ahead?  Everyone would move out of their way and let them through!  No one would be angry at them for it; at least not the first time they did it.

Parachutes

Parachutes are allowed in checked or carryon baggage, but may not be worn in flight.

You know it will be a bad flight when you see a passenger wearing a parachute!  Without any announcements, you might as well grab your carry-on bag and get off the plane NOW!

Overnight Amenity Kits for Lost Luggage

One of the best kept secrets is the small overnight kits available for lost luggage.  The most you will get is:  shampoo, soap, a toothbrush and toothpaste, a razor and sometimes a little laundry soap to wash out those undies you will have to wear again tomorrow.  ;-)  I know, it sounds gross but you will survive.  You think going without underwear would be better?

When you receive your kit, you will quickly realize that you have been over packing all this time.  Amazing what you can and do get by with in a pinch.  We are all survivors!  (can you hear the “Rocky” theme song?)

Pet Ownership

Statistics show us that about 60 percent of American households have at least one pet. That’s the majority. That leaves 40 percent of people who don’t have a Fido or Fofo living in their home.


Are the 40 percent, the smart ones? I believe we are. We get to sleep without hearing the whimpering of a pet that has been called by nature to empty their bladder. We sleep without worry of being awakened by a pet. We may worry about a burglar breaking in… but our pet waking us up, NEVER!
Some of us avoid pets due to allergies. I agree that wheezing and sneezing are not a good way to live and taking allergy medicine to have a pet seems well…just a little crazy.
 

People that don’t own pets get to walk bare foot in their homes without having to pick pet hair out from between their toes; they get to wear black pants without worrying about pet hair on them; they don’t trip and twist their ankles because they were trying to avoid a pet; they never have to smell that sickening aroma of pet food, wet or dry; they never have to worry about someone staring at them while they eat (unless they are in public); they still live plenty long without pets and parts of their lives are not spent yelling at an animal that doesn’t understand English; they don’t have surprises on the carpet when they have been gone longer than a pet bladder can hold it; they fill their purses with wallets and money, not doo-doo bags and pet treats; and the best reason is they don’t have to clean up large piles of poop in a public place!

Many pet owners will disagree and say that they get so much unconditional love from their pets; it makes up for all the “icky” stuff. I say, you are fooling yourselves: there is no unconditional love in the animal or human world and pets only love you because you feed them…stop feeding them and see if they hang around very long!

 

It’s okay to keep hanging on to those thoughts and PLEASE keep telling yourself that when Fofo poops on the carpet; or gets you up in the wee hours of the morning for a nature call; better yet, hang on to the unconditional love crap when you are smelling and scraping huge piles of dog poop off the grass at a nature park to carry home.

I will be the one staring, pointing and snickering at you. I still believe I am the SMART, no-pet owner!