Sign on an electrician's truck:
-- Let us remove your shorts.
Maternity Clothes Shop:
-- We are open on labor day.
-- If we see you smoking we will assume you're on fire and take appropriate action.
On a Maternity Room Door:
-- Push, Push, Push.
On a Front Door:
-- Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian -- except the dog.
-- If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
-- Gone fission
-- We really know our stuff.
-- Time wounds all heels.
-- Let me meat your needs.
Used Car Lot:
-- Second-hand cars in first crash condition.
Sign on Fence:
-- Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
-- The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.
-- No appointment necessary; we'll hear you coming.
-- Help wanted. We need inn-experienced people.
Auto Body Shop:
-- May we have the next dents?
Sign in an office:
-- We shoot every 3rd salesman. The 2nd one just left.
Veterinarian's Waiting Room:
-- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
The Electric Company:
-- We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
-- Dye now!
-- We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
-- Out for a quick byte
-- Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up.
-- Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
-- Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
-- Bach in a minuet.
-- Drive carefully; we'll wait.