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Saturday, July 9, 2011

Humorous Signs Found On Businesses

Sign on an electrician's truck:
-- Let us remove your shorts.

Maternity Clothes Shop:
-- We are open on labor day.
Non-smoking area:
-- If we see you smoking we will assume you're on fire and take appropriate action.
On a Maternity Room Door:
-- Push, Push, Push.
On a Front Door:
-- Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian -- except the dog.
Optometrist's Office:
-- If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
Scientist's Door:
-- Gone fission
Taxidermist Window:
-- We really know our stuff.
Podiatrist's Window:
-- Time wounds all heels.
Butcher's window:
-- Let me meat your needs.
Used Car Lot:
-- Second-hand cars in first crash condition.
Sign on Fence:
-- Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
Car Dealership:
-- The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.
Muffler Shop:
-- No appointment necessary; we'll hear you coming.
-- Help wanted. We need inn-experienced people.
Auto Body Shop:
-- May we have the next dents?
Sign in an office:
-- We shoot every 3rd salesman. The 2nd one just left.
Veterinarian's Waiting Room:
-- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
The Electric Company:
-- We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
Beauty Shop:
-- Dye now!
Garbage Truck:
-- We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Computer Store:
-- Out for a quick byte
Diner Window:
-- Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up.
Bowling Alley:
-- Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
-- Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
Music Library:
-- Bach in a minuet.
Funeral Home:
-- Drive carefully; we'll wait.

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