Trivia for Your Entertainment

Humorous Signs Found On Businesses

Sign on an electrician's truck: -- Let us remove your shorts. Maternity Clothes Shop: -- We are open on labor day. Non-smoking area: -- If we see you smoking we will assume you're on fire and take appropriate action. On a Maternity Room Door: -- Push, Push, Push. On a Front Door: -- Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian -- except the dog. Optometrist's Office: -- If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. Scientist's Door: -- Gone fission Taxidermist Window: -- We really know our stuff. Podiatrist's Window: -- Time wounds all heels. Butcher's window: -- Let me meat your needs. Used Car Lot: -- Second-hand cars in first crash condition. Sign on Fence: -- Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive. Car Dealership: -- The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment. Muffler Shop: -- No appointment necessary; we'll hear you coming. Hotel: -- Help wanted. We need inn-experienced people. Auto Body Shop: -- May we have the next dents? Sign in an office: -- We shoot every 3rd salesman. The 2nd one just left. Veterinarian's Waiting Room: -- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay! The Electric Company: -- We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be. Beauty Shop: -- Dye now! Garbage Truck: -- We've got what it takes to take what you've got. Computer Store: -- Out for a quick byte Diner Window: -- Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up. Bowling Alley: -- Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop. Cafeteria: -- Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want. Music Library: -- Bach in a minuet. Funeral Home: -- Drive carefully; we'll wait.

Humorous Mottos for States in the U.S.

State Mottos Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong! Arizona: Dehyd-rific! Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing California: As Seen on TV Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character Delaware: We Were the First, Damit, and Don't You Forget It! Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money) Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good Illinois: Gateway to Iowa Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign Maine: Cheap Lobster Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets) Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians Minnesota: For Sale Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, and Very Little Else Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest Nevada: Whores and Poker! New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here! New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable North Dakota: Um... We've got... Um... Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones! Ohio: Don't Judge Us by Cleveland Oklahoma: Like the Play, Only No Singing Oregon: Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota Tennessee: The Educashun State Texas: Se Hablo Ingles Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus Vermont: Yep Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix? Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers! Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor? West Virginia: One Big Happy Family -- Really! Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese Wyoming: Wynot?