Funny Things

We have experts that tell us we are born to move…then we learn that being still is the only way to hear.


As we get older, is it our bodies that fail or is it that we are just suppose to be an enthusiastic reader and a comfy lap for the small grandchildren?

It is the same world, but since we have had many years in it already, aren’t we supposed to slow down and enjoy it more as we age?

I received a joke over the internet the other day poking fun of senior citizens and their lack of knowledge in technology. It was a cell phone with a rotary dial. What the person didn’t realize is that our memories are so short, we have forgotten how to use that dial too.

Funny, how we used the word retirement so often 10 years ago and now we rarely hear the word except for in magazines and books…not in conversation. We know that we are not going to retire but how many of us can be employed as the Walmart greeter…we will continue to have an unemployment issue the rest of our lives.

If sweating is so good for us, why do we have to raise our blood pressure to do it? Why is it so uncomfortable?

If I have so many toxins in my body, I would just as soon let them stay in there where they can’t do any harm!

The sleepless need to go to the doctor!

I have trouble sleeping like so many other people I know.  Just recently, I was up all night painting my garage.  It wasn't so important that I had to go without sleep to get it done, it was just I couldn't sleep so I used the time wisely.  I have never been a really good sleeper and don't think I ever will be.

One thing that is comical to me is that no matter how much sleep I have had the previous night, I can go into the doctors office and within ten minutes,  I fall asleep. 

It is as if they have a sleeping spray they spray in the room to keep us from getting impatient if we have to wait too long!  I tend to laugh when I open the door to the doctor's office just because I know I will be asleep if I have to wait more than 10 minutes. 

I don't fall asleep in the small room they put me in...oh, no, much too cold in there to sleep... but the waiting room...that is a whole different animal.  I see others doing the same thing...their elbows falling off the arm rest then quickly looking around to see if anyone noticed (only the people that have been there less than 10 minutes)...they soon will understand how you can fall asleep in a public place in the middle of the day!!!!!!! 

I simply can't stay awake any longer in the doctor's office.

The Sounds of Life

Have you ever noticed that it seems really quiet until you want to sleep? The day is the perfect temperature, no clouds in the sky, and you have about an hour before your next project needs to be started…what can you do? Sleep, of course. A little nap is so good for your soul. So, you lay on the porch swing and think the movement will lull you to sleep for a quick nap.


You start swinging and within minutes; birds are squawking ; the neighbor decides to use the weed whacker, another neighbor across the street arrives home and has to ensure that the car is locked so they hit the clicker twice; construction up the street begins and you hear the beep, beep, beep of the truck in reverse. You feel your tension rise… then realize all you need to do is breathe deeply.

The peace….the breeze through the trees sings to you and you once again feel you can slip into slumber…you are so close… slipping, slipping almost there….then the phone in your pocket rings and startles you… with one eye, you check the number… no one important and you hit silence; without skipping a beat, you are back into sleep mode.

Ah, yes, you are hidden in the folds of life where you are safe, no worries and no cares. A place where snoring and drooling are allowed.

You are dozing in painless slumber and jolted to an upright position when you hear the deafening clap of thunder and the cold rain starts to slap your bare skin…you immediately jump up and run into the house. That nap was a quick one.

You look down at your phone and realize you were only out for 10 minutes. A power nap. You are disappointed but amazingly refreshed and ready for dinner on the grill.

The rain has cooled the air and you’re famished. Steak anyone?