Last week, my friend Ethel checked into a motel on her 68th birthday and she was a bit lonely.
She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see
advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She
looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling
himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical
skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the
right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six
pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a quarter off
She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call.
"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?". . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!
Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in,
"Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel
room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in
town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I
want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips,
everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy
all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream,
anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound?"
He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9
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