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Sunday, August 1, 2010

Pet Ownership

Statistics show us that about 60 percent of American households have at least one pet. That’s the majority. That leaves 40 percent of people who don’t have a Fido or Fofo living in their home.


Are the 40 percent, the smart ones? I believe we are. We get to sleep without hearing the whimpering of a pet that has been called by nature to empty their bladder. We sleep without worry of being awakened by a pet. We may worry about a burglar breaking in… but our pet waking us up, NEVER!
Some of us avoid pets due to allergies. I agree that wheezing and sneezing are not a good way to live and taking allergy medicine to have a pet seems well…just a little crazy.
 
People that don’t own pets get to walk bare foot in their homes without having to pick pet hair out from between their toes; they get to wear black pants without worrying about pet hair on them; they don’t trip and twist their ankles because they were trying to avoid a pet; they never have to smell that sickening aroma of pet food, wet or dry; they never have to worry about someone staring at them while they eat (unless they are in public); they still live plenty long without pets and parts of their lives are not spent yelling at an animal that doesn’t understand English; they don’t have surprises on the carpet when they have been gone longer than a pet bladder can hold it; they fill their purses with wallets and money, not doo-doo bags and pet treats; and the best reason is they don’t have to clean up large piles of poop in a public place!

Many pet owners will disagree and say that they get so much unconditional love from their pets; it makes up for all the “icky” stuff. I say, you are fooling yourselves: there is no unconditional love in the animal or human world and pets only love you because you feed them…stop feeding them and see if they hang around very long!

 
It’s okay to keep hanging on to those thoughts and PLEASE keep telling yourself that when Fofo poops on the carpet; or gets you up in the wee hours of the morning for a nature call; better yet, hang on to the unconditional love crap when you are smelling and scraping huge piles of dog poop off the grass at a nature park to carry home.

I will be the one staring, pointing and snickering at you. I still believe I am the SMART, no-pet owner!

3 comments:

Jacqueline Scott said...

I agree that there is no unconditional love in a dog. He only knows what his owner teaches him. I believe all unconditional love cannot be given by any animal. THAT is a very weird statement to me. I love your blog. You are amazing to me. Your outlook on life is seriously hilarious. I know we all think about things like this, but you write about them.

F.C. Boyd said...

One of the perks of confidence, I guess.

Jeanne said...

As a loving and adoring pet owner, I cannot agree. (I have 3 cats and 1 dog) However, I believe that we are put on this planet for one life and we live it the best way we can. I am one that believes that my house is not complete without little four legged creatures following me around. (No, I am not talking about my husband). But you are right, we put up with a lot; smells, surprises on the carpet, puppy kisses at times when we don't want them...etc. Those things are a heck of an annoyance at times. But I would not have it any other way.I have just started following your blog since you did a book review for my book, "Wrinkles, Waistlines and Wet Pants." I am enjoying your humorous outlook on things. Even pets!